Behind the Veil
by Jets Sparrow
Summary: Sirius POV from moments before he dies to the 7th book and beyond. See what Sirius, James Lily and Remus do after they died.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story, please review and let me know I'll try to update as fast as possible but at least once a week. I'm trying to follow JK Rowling story as much as possible, with parts of the story taken from the actual books. I don't own anything. **

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Chapter 1

'Come on, you can do better than that!' Sirius yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest. The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock. He watched as godson jumped to the ground and pulled out his wand. Sirius felt his body curve in a graceful arc as he took one last look at his godson. Fear and surprise spreading through his body as he realized he would never see that face again. For a moment everything went a silvery white then black then pure white.

Sirius stood looking around unsure of what had exactly happened. Everything was white and clean, he then suddenly realized where he was. It was the alley where he and James had been cornered by death eaters and the muggle police. A smile came to his face as he thought back on the memory. It was his favourite memory with just him and James. Sirius wondered what he was doing there when he suddenly heard a faint noise. He didn't know what it was exactly but it felt comforting, it was muffled but sounded as if it was becoming closer. Sirius' curiosity got the better of him as he started towards the opening of the alley. A figure suddenly emerged with open arms. "Sirius"

Sirius just looked at the man, shock appeared on his face. He couldn't comprehend this; the man looked exactly like James, with his jet black messy hair and handsome figure and slightly lopsided glasses. But it couldn't be, James was dead and Lily. Did that mean he was dead, he couldn't be sure? "James?" he whispered. The man nodded at this and came closer to Sirius. Sirius took a step forward then suddenly broke into a run. He ran into James' arms and they hugged. It had been so long, too long, 14 years. Sirius began to cry heavily, he didn't care what James would think about it and he didn't care to be honest. He was just glad to see him again, even if perhaps it wasn't real.

After what seemed forever Sirius let go of James and looked him in the eyes, astonished that James was also crying. At this Sirius fell to his knees and cried harder and louder. "I'm sorry, I swear I never meant to kill you, I promise!" Sirius half screamed. More tears flooded from his eyes and he placed his head in his hands and rested them on the ground.

James knelt down in front of Sirius placing a hand on his shoulder and whispered "I know". Sirius' cries out stopped as he looked up at his best friend with tears still streaming down his face. "I'd never betray you, I swear, you, Lily and harry are my life…" he trailed off. He suddenly remembered Harry, his godson, his only connection to James and Lily he had. Harry would be all alone, with no one he could confide in. The only person he had now was Remus, but Harry had never been as close to Remus and he was with him. New tears seeped from Sirius' eyes, he knew how much he had meant to Harry, as he had tried to protect him so many times, and he hoped Harry knew how much he meant to Sirius. He regretted immediately not being more affectionate with Harry and hugging the poor boy once in a while. The last time they were really together was at Christmas when he briefly gave Harry a one armed hug and told him to "look after himself".

"Sirius, I know, it's alright. Calm down please" James said in a worried yet calm voice, concerned for his best friend.

To this Sirius was brought back to where he was and looked at James in the eyes. "Are you real, is this real or just a figment of my imagination". Sirius said slowly as the tears began to slow.

"Yes" James replied, "I'm real and this is real and im afraid to say that you are dead. This is what we call limbo, when you die you come to a place that means something to you and you meet someone close to you. It helps ease people into the next life. You for example were brought here to this alley because it was a happy moment that we both shared and I was brought here, well for obvious reasons".

"Right" Sirius said slowly as everything sunk in. "So what are we meant to do now, how do you get to the next life or whatever"

"Well we can talk as much as you'll like and when you're ready you just let go and it takes you there, it's sort of hard to explain but you can feel it inside you. If you fight the transition and don't let go, you return to the mortal world as a ghost, but most people don't take that option."

"Ok, I just need a minute to get my head around this" Sirius said weakly. "Who came to you when you…you know died."

James through his head back and laughed while Sirius looked somewhat confused. "It's alright I've accepted I've died you don't need to beat around the bush." James gave a reassuring smile and Sirius forced one upon his face.

Sirius looked around the alley, he still couldnt believe this was happening to him. He had never been afraid of death and was glad he died protecting Harry since he wasn't able to do that for Lily and James. But to go into the next life and see Lily, he was scared, would she be as forgiving as James or condemn him for what happened that tragic night. Now or never right. "Ok, im ready" Sirius said nervously, as James beamed.

"Great, Lily would love to see you again". I hope so, Sirius thought to himself.

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**Please review and let me know what you think and any idea you might have. There is plenty more to come ****:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Recap: Sirius died and met James in the alley. They are on their way to meet up with Lily. **

**Thanks for the support and everyone that made it a follow/fave. It means a lot and I hope you like this chapter.**

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Chapter 2

Sirius closed his eyes, with James standing beside him, and let go. He felt his feet leave the ground like he was floating on thin air. Everything felt so much better inside him, like nothing could ever go wrong and he could do anything.

The ground once again felt solid, but Sirius was too afraid to open his eyes. He didn't want to face Lily and he didn't want James to be gone either. He slowly opened his eyes and was relieved to see James still standing beside him. He looks around and takes in his surroundings, it all looks the same but different. The main difference is the sky is no longer bright blue with white fluffy clouds, it's just white, bright white. James and Sirius are standing in a small street leading out of a village and everything around them is clean, perfect and full of vibrant colour. As took in everything he finally recognised the street they were standing in. Sirius tried to fight back the tears resurfacing but failed. He turned his head away from James hoping he hadn't noticed when he felt his hand grasp his shoulder.

"It's alright" he said in a quiet voice.

"I…I haven't been here since…" he trailed off as he wept.

"Would you like to come in, I understand if it's too hard for you".

"No…no it's fine, I just need a second" Sirius knew he couldn't avoid this forever and took a deep breathe to calm himself. He took a step forward and James followed with his hand still on Sirius shoulder. As they reached the gate to Lily and James' house at Godric's Hollow, Sirius stopped and James stepped past him and opened the gate and held the front door open for him. He followed James closely, not wanting to touch the house that destroyed his life in one night. He couldn't understand why they would want to live in the house they were murdered in. The house looked as good as new, not a scratch on it let alone a huge hole in the roof where the nursery was.

"Lily darling" James called.

"I'm coming" Lily called back.

Sirius stepped into the house and tried not to look at the ground where his best friend's murdered body laid years before. From what he saw the house looked exactly the same from what he remembered before that night.

Lily suddenly appeared in the hallway. She looked so full of life even though she was dead, with her radiant smile filled the whole room. Her beautiful red hair sitting by her shoulders and magnificent emerald green eyes still created the stunning picture that is Lily Evans Potter.

"Sirius, how wonderful to see you again" she said cheerfully, walking up and hugging him. He opened his arms and hugged her back tightly. A tear slipped from his eye and ran down his cheek. Lily saw it as she pulled back and wiped it away with her hand. "Everything is alright now, Sirius, look at me". Sirius struggled to meet her eyes but when he did she continued. "I know you blame yourself for what happened, but WE don't blame you and never will; it wasn't your fault we died". Lily sounded so calm and relaxed, not the slightest ounce of anger or shame. "Come on, let's go have some tea". She took hold of his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen with James following behind.

Sirius and James sat at the counter while Lily stood on the other side. "Is there anything in particular that you want?"

"Do you have any firewhiskey?" he asked not meeting her eyes.

"Sure, do you want tea James?" she asked as she pulled down 2 mugs and turned the kettle on.

"Lils, why do you do that, you don't have to anymore"

"I know James, but I like to, it gives me something to do"

"You don't need something to do you, you have me" he winks.

Lily rolls her eyes "Well it makes me happy, isn't that what you want" she smirks.

James gets up and kisses her "Of course it is"

She hands Sirius his drink and he downs it in one. "Thanks, so umm, what are you talking about?"

"Well here you don't have to cook or shop or anything, you just think of what you want and there it is. Food, drinks, new clothes or even a house" Lily gestures her hands to the house around her. "It also works to go somewhere, though it's just like apparition except no splinching". She stops and hands James his tea and sits down beside him.

"Whoa slow down, so you just have to think of something and its there, that's it?"

"Yep, watch" James looks at the counter and a tray of delicious biscuits appear.

"Wow, Prongs that's amazing, let me try". Sirius looks at his glass but nothing happens.

"It takes time, try closing your eyes, with practice all you will have to do is look at it".

He closes his eyes and thinks of his glass full of firewhiskey. When he opens them it's full and he downs it whole for the second time. He can feel it kicking in and his body relaxing they more the talk. "So you can apparate here"

"Sort of, it works the same but it's a lot easier and you don't need to know exactly where you want to go, anyone can do it" Lily said smiling, sensing Sirius calming down.

"What do you mean anyone?" Sirius asked slightly confused.

"Muggles, they think it's amazing, like nothing they have ever seen, but we know better".

"So muggles are here too and they still don't know about magic, how come?"

"Well there is no need to, anything we can do they can do and it's a lot easier then waving a wand and saying an incantation"

"But you still have your magic and wand don't you" Sirius unable to control the desperation in his voice.

"Of course, your magic is inside you so you don't lose it when you die, it's with you forever and our wands are upstairs in the drawers."

Sirius closed his eye and concentrated. His wand appeared in front of him and he picked it up and hugged it tight with a smirk on his face. He felt a hole in his chest fill as he held his wand close; he was a true wizard again. Placing it back in his pocket he winked at James, who rolled his eyes.

"How are you taking all of this?" Lily asked with caring eyes

"Well the firewhiskey certainly helped" he joked. "It's ok, a lot to take in, but at least I'm back with you two again" he smiled looking at both of them. "How did you both take it?"

"We took it quite hard, with leaving you, Remus and especially Harry behind. But we got through it together and it helped knowing we died protecting each other and taking down Voldemort along with us" James said proudly. "But we not once wanted to leave it like that, you in prison, Remus having to lose everyone at once and deal with his furry little problem on his own and leaving poor Harry in the care of Lily's sister. We never wanted any of that to happen". Sirius nodded unable to say anything in response.

There's a moment silence when Sirius finally asked "So…why did you pick this as your house if you could pick anything?" unable to avoid the question any longer.

"Well that's easy" Lily replied "it was our house, the place we wanted to spend the rest of your lives and now we can"

"Makes sense I guess. You don't have any bad memories from the house" Sirius said trying not to sound accusingly.

"Pads" James said not knowing what to say as Lily looked slightly taken back.

"I'm sorry, you just don't know what I went through that night and I've had to live with it my whole life".

"But you don't have to live with it any more Sirius, we never blamed you for our death and we know what happened, we saw it" Lily said firmly to illustrate her point.

"What do you mean you saw it?"

"We went back and watched it and it helped us to come to term with it"

"You can do that, how?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Just think about it, a time, a place, a person, even an emotion can take you somewhere."

"An emotion, so you just think of someone when their sad or happy or scared and it takes you there?" Lily nodded her head; glad to see he was catching on. "Hmm, well I want to go see my death. I don't really know what happened and I'd like to find out" With that Sirius stood up and closed his eyes thinking hard about his death.

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**Hope you like this chapter, I know it might seem boring but I had to answer all those questions. It will pick up hopefully in the next chapter. Will update soon :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Recap: Sirius, James and Lily talked at Godric's Hollow and he learnt about the afterlife. Sirius discovers he can return to his death to watch it.**

**Thank you for all your support and reviews, it means so much.**

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Chapter 3

He opened his eyes and saw the death chamber where he and Bellatrix were duelling, with Harry struggling to carry Neville. He then noticed that James and Lily were standing to the left of him looking down at the scene unfold in front of their eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"We thought you might need some moral support" Lily said with her eyes fixed upon Harry.

"Moral support, for what?" Sirius said calmly. He shuddered as he got hit in the chest by Bellatrix and watched as he fell through the veil and disappeared.

"For that" Lily pointed at Harry who screamed out Sirius' name repeatedly. He was running towards the dais when Remus grabbed him around the chest holding him back.

_"There's nothing you can do, Harry –"_

_"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"_

_"– it's too late, Harry."_

_"We can still reach him –"._ Sirius cried as Harry struggled hard and viciously with all his strength, but Remus would not let go of him.

_"There's nothing you can do, Harry … nothing … he's gone."_

He couldn't believe what he just saw, what he had done to Harry, what he must be feeling. The tears streamed down his face as he looked at his godson and the pain he had caused him.

_"He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS!" he bellowed. "SIRIUS!"_

_"He can't come back, Harry," said Lupin, his voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry. "He can't come back, because he's d––"_

_"HE – IS – NOT – DEAD!" roared Harry. "SIRIUS!"_

Sirius noticed Harry getting angry as Remus dragged him away from the dais, though he wasn't struggling with Remus any more. His eyes were fixed upon the archway. James placed his arm on Sirius' shoulder and he finally realised Lily also had tears running down her cheeks with her head in James shoulder with his spare arm wrapped around her. "Oh James, it's so much worse seeing it the second time"

"The second time?" Sirius asked as he looked away from Harry for the first time.

"Yeah, we saw it before, you know the first time. We sensed Harry was in danger and came to be here for him" James said quietly, with every word giving him pain but his face showing no emotion. "But, we didn't…

_"Harry – no!" cried Remus, but Harry had already ripped his arm from Lupin's slackened grip._

_"SHE KILLED SIRIUS!" bellowed Harry. "SHE KILLED HIM – I'LL KILL HER!"_ Harry takes off up the stone benches and Lily, James and Sirius follow him up to the atrium.

_"Come out, come out, little Harry!" she called in her mock baby voice. "What did you come after me for, then? I thought you were here to avenge my dear cousin!"_ Sirius stepped forward and balled his hands into fists. James grabbed his shoulder while holding Lily close in his arm.

_"I am!" shouted Harry_

_"Aaaaaah … did you love him, little baby Potter?"_

_"Crucio!" Harry bellowed._

Lily clung tighter to James and rested her head on his shoulder. James' face is emotionless as if holding everything inside him to be strong for Lily. Sirius' heart skipped a beat as he realised what Harry had just done for him. He is reminded of the night James and Lily died and how he was so angry he went after Wormtail to kill him, just as Harry wants to kill Bellatrix.

_Bellatrix screamed, than got back onto her feet, breathless and no longer laughing. Harry dodged her spell by hiding behind the golden fountain. _

_"Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?" she yelled. She had abandoned her baby voice now. "You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain – to enjoy it – righteous anger won't hurt me for long – I'll show you how it is done, shall I? I'll give you a lesson –"_

_Harry ducked again as she screamed "Crucio". "Potter, you cannot win against me!" she cried. "I was and am the Dark Lord's most loyal servant. I learned the Dark Arts from him, and I know spells of such power that you, pathetic little boy, can never hope to compete –"_

Sirius filled with devastation and guilt as the 3 of them continue to watch on close together, each supporting one another. They all hold their breath as Voldemort came out of nowhere.

_"I have nothing more to say to you, Potter," he said quietly. "You have irked me too often, for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

"Nooooooo!" Lily screamed running forward, putting herself between Voldemort and Harry. The spell passed straight through her and she turned around to see the golden wizard statue holding its arms out protecting Harry. They all then saw Dumbledore standing in front of the golden gates.

James ran forward and grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her back to where Sirius was standing, who like Lily still had tears running down his cheeks too.

"Lily, he's not dead, this is the past remember we would have felt it happen" James said pulling her into a very tight hug.

"I…I'm s…sorry, I…I f…forgot" she took a deep a deep breath through the sobs to calm herself. James wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. His touch comforted her more than he knew. "I couldn't just do nothing, I forgot this is the past, I'm sorry"

"It's alright Lily. You just got caught up in the moment. You know that's the second time you've taken the killing curse for Harry" James had a weak smile on his face as he tried to comfort her.

"And I'd do it again and for you" Lily's tears slowed the longer she held James.

"And I would for you too" He kissed her so sweetly on the lips then placed his head on hers and they continued to watch the battle between Voldemort and Dumbledore. Dumbledore appeared to be winning as he cocooned Voldemort in the pool water, but then he vanished and the water crashed back into the pool.

_"Stay where you are, Harry!" Dumbledore bellowed._ It was the first time any of them heard him sound frightened.

Harry screamed so loud it made all of them jump. He stumbled against the wall for a moment before steading himself and stepping forward. Harry was no longer screaming and was standing there strong, but something was different. His once emerald eyes turned red and he had an evil smile on his face.

_"Kill me now, Dumbledore … If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy …" Harry said in a high pitched cold voice._

Lily's heart broke as she watched her only son become possessed by Voldemort, she could not take this anymore and she looked away crying. If she was crying heavily before it was nothing compared to this. She and James had watched Harry go through so much but this was by far the worst. James broke down at this as well; the tears started falling down his cheeks as he could no longer be strong for his wife and best friend. Sirius was shattered at what he watched happened this whole night. He knew this was the worst night of Harry's life and he wouldn't be able to be there to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be ok, even if he didn't believe it himself.

_Harry began to twitch and yell again, as if fighting the hold Voldemort had upon him. His legs buckled under his weight and he said "Sirius" just before he crashed to the ground. _

The three of them ran to Harry's side, they knew he wouldn't see or feel them but they had to examine him and make sure he was in fact alright. Lily placed her hand just above his shoulder. As if hoping he would be able to feel their presence. They watched as Dumbledore helped him up and sent him back to Hogwarts. They wished more than anything that they could just hug him tight and never let go.

James took both Lily and Sirius hand and brought them back to their place. He knew they all had seen enough and Harry would be safe with Dumbledore.

"I think we all need some rest, it's been a very emotional night for all of us" James said quietly. Not wanting to leave Lily alone he showed Sirius he bedroom which was right next to the once nursery. James took Lily back to their room and hugged her tight then placed her on the bed before shutting the door. Sirius didn't care that he walked right past the room Lily had died in and Harry was left orphaned. He didn't care about anything then what Harry must be feeling. He laid back on his bed and turned off the lights with his mind before falling asleep, hoping this was all a bad dream.

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**Hope you like this chapter; it's so sad as they watch what Harry had to go through. Let me know what you think and ill update soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Recap: Sirius, James and Lily watch as Sirius dies and the effect it has on Harry.**

**Hope you like this new chapter and thanks for all the kind reviews.**

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Sirius woke up and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He felt like he had been asleep for years. When he reached the kitchen there was no one there, it looked the same as it had last night. The clock on the wall told him it was early, very early. Lily and James would obviously still be asleep. He decided he would make a cup of tea, the manual way just so he could keep his hands busy.

He sat at the counter and slowly drank his tea as he remembered what had happened the night before. It ran through his mind like a movie. Poor Harry, I hope he's ok. Sirius suddenly remembered something James had said during the commotion and would have to ask him later. He was shaken from his thoughts as a hand touched his shoulder. He shook his head slightly and turned around to see Lily standing behind him. She gave a small smile before making herself and James some tea.

"Where's James?"

"Having a shower, it helps clear his mind. How are you feeling, did the sleep help?" Lily's caring eyes shot right through Sirius.

"I feel better … I really lost it last night. Harry was my whole life and I never wanted to hurt him". Sirius paused for a moment. "I never told him how much he meant to me, I just hope he knows."

"I'm sure he knows, he loved you Sirius"

"And I loved him too"

"He'll get through it; he has great friends, the Order and Remus."

"Yeah, I guess, I just hope he lets them in though. Remus helped him get through the dementors, hope he can do the same with this, I miss Remus."

"I miss him too" Lily went over and hugged him. Sirius felt his spirits lift. He knew that with all the bad his death had caused he never had to suffer the pain of James and Lily's death and he would never have to go back to 12 Grimmauld place again. The house he had felt trapped in for the last year. He was finally free.

"Morning" James came bouncing in.

"Morning" they both replied letting go of each other. Lily walked over and kissed him.

"How you feeling Pads"

"Better, just need some time to get used to this"

"Don't worry it won't take long. You can stay here as long as you want" James gave him a big pat on his back. "I feel like bacon and eggs, anyone else?" He rubbed his hands together as 3 plates appeared perfectly cooked.

Once they finished James made the plates disappear and walked into the back yard signaling for Sirius to follow, while Lily went upstairs to shower and tidy up. James sat on the bench in the garden. It was beautiful and covered in flowers and shrubs, the pink lilies were James' favorites. "Prongs, last night you said you saw my...err death before..."

"Yeah," he interrupted as if knowing what he was going to say. "We only got as far as moony telling Harry it was too late before I had to come meet you and Lily went back to the house to wait for us. She couldn't wait to see you again. That's why she took it so hard last night. We didn't know any of that happened after we left".

"Hmm ... you also said you would have felt it if Harry died."

"Well when someone you care about dies, you feel it in your heart and you know exactly who it is. We both felt you die even though we saw it happen, I however felt a pull, a sort of calling and I knew your heart sending for me - it sort of calls the person who you are closet to." He added answering Sirius' questionable look.

"Anyway, Padfoot I know that you feel you hurt Harry a lot by dying..." a lot wasn't how he described it, destroyed was more like it."...but by dying you protected him from something or rather someone much worse"

"What do you mean?" he replied quietly.

"Pads, I thought you were the 3rd smartest in our year. After me and Lily of course" he smirked. "Don't you remember when Voldemort possessed Harry and he was fighting it. He called out **your** name before he fell to the ground. Don't you know what that means" Sirius shook his head in a way that told James to get to the point.

"It means that the emotion Harry felt for you saved him. The amount of grief that he felt came from how much he loved you and would go to any lengths to save you. Harry's greatest power is love and Voldemort couldn't bear to be inside someone so full of love."

Sirius didn't know what to say or what to feel. By dying he had protected Harry from possession and his own destruction but had left him once again with no family and was that really better. There was a long silence between them as they sat together looking out at the garden.

James broke the silence first. "I couldn't have picked a better godfather for Harry" he smiled at Sirius, who looked up shocked and gave a weak smile. "Oh come now Sirius you were there when he needed you, you saw past his lies when he tried to protect you and you loved him with all your heart, I couldn't have picked anyone better than that and I thank you for it" James said warmly.

"And I thank you too" Lily had come up behind them without either of them knowing smiling down at them.

Sirius looked up in her glowing eyes and saw the truth shine in them. He had done the best he could have done and to know he had their support meant everything. He couldn't help but smile at her. Sirius had a warm feeling spread through his heart; he hadn't had a feeling like this since Christmas when he found out Harry was staying with him over the break. "I'm going to go visit Harry" Sirius said calmly as he stood up. Lily and James both nodded and continued to smile at him. Sirius closed his eyes and thought of Harry at the present time.

When he opened his eyes, the sun shone straight them and he closed them again. He tried again this time opening them slowly wondering where Harry could be that it was so bright. Sirius saw the sun glittering of water and knew Harry was down by the black lake at the tree where he, James, Remus and Peter all sat at school. And there sitting at the base of the tree looking out over the water, hidden from students passing by was none other than Harry himself. He sat with his legs to his chest with his arms around them just staring at the water. Sirius sat down right beside him and looked out at the water as well.

They sit there for hours in the silence before harry speaks to himself not knowing that the person he missed most was right beside him. "I'm sorry Sirius" he said barely above a whisper as a tear runs down his cheek. Sirius had noticed Harry had been crying before he arrived and while they were sitting together but this one tear was different. It sparkled in the sunlight almost like a leak to a cauldron that could never be repaired, as if nothing could fix Harry's shattered heart.

Sirius put his arm around him trying to comfort him as much as possible. "It's not your fault Harry, I love you" he whispered. Harry lifted his head slightly and twitched it in Sirius' direction as more tears continued to fall to the ground. Sirius wasn't sure if Harry really heard him or not. They continued to sit together until sunset when Harry started to stir as a cold breeze started to come through. Eventually as the sun disappeared behind the mountains in the distance and the stars started to appear Harry got to his feet and began a slow walk back up to the castle. Sirius stood and watched as his godson walked up noticing him wiping his face on his sleeve as he went.

Sirius opened his eyes again and was back at Godrics Hollow in James and Lily's kitchen. "I was wondering if we were going to see you again" Lily said sweetly. They were both sitting at the counter having dinner noticing Sirius' sad face as he sat down next to James. "How is Harry coping?"

"He was sitting by our tree crying and said 'I'm sorry Sirius'. We sat there the whole time until he got cold and went inside to no doubt lie on his bed and think some more. He's so unhappy and he's going to be leaving Hogwarts in a few days. I think that's making it worse." Sirius said slowly without looking up at them.

"He's beginning the fourth stage of grief – depression, which is an important part of grieving and must be done properly. But it shows he's improving and that he's ever closer to accepting it. He'll get there." Lily rubbed Sirius back in hope of comforting him some more.

"Your right, he'll be fine in time"

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**Sorry it took a bit longer for this chapter, I got a bit stuck. Hope you like it. Please review and ill update soon**


	5. Chapter 5

**Recap: James thanks Sirius for all his help with Harry and Sirius goes to see Harry down by the lake.**

**Sorry this chapter took so long I got quite stuck and had to work what to do. On the plus side it's a long chapter and I hope you love it. Keep reviewing, the next update will be a lot sooner than this one.**

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Chapter 5

Sirius had now stayed with Lily and James for a few days now and was beginning to feel it was time to get his own place. Though he loved it with Lily and James and they loved having him around he wanted to start enjoying his freedom, which was something he hadn't had for 14 years. He kept wondering where he would want to live, to pick anything and anywhere was indeed hard. Sirius wasn't much of a creative person unless it came to pranks, so he decided he would just make his house as best he can and change it if it didn't work.

Just as he walked through the living room he saw a letter appear on the small coffee table. As he got closer he saw his own name written across the front. Unsure of what to do he picked it up, noticed the handwriting and recognized it immediately. He sat on the lounge and looked around, Lily was in the backyard tending to the garden and James went to check on Harry, so Sirius was relatively alone. He slowly opened the letter with his heart racing, he didn't know what to think or feel. He had not heard from his brother since he ran away at 16 and only heard what happened to him, while he was in Azkaban, since the order reformed.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I know that we never got on when we were younger but I would like for that to change. Though we had different perspectives growing up, I want you to know that I learnt from my mistakes and tried to correct them. I hope you can forgive me for the way I behaved and what I did. I want to meet up with you tomorrow night so we can talk face to face, I'll come find you at 8:00. I would really like for us to become brothers again._

_Regulus_

Sirius looked up from the letter. He couldn't believe Regulus wanted to become brothers. They had always been so different from each other; Sirius didn't care about people's blood status and was a proud Gryffindor whereas Regulus followed the family with their pureblood mania and continued the tradition of supporting Slytherin. Regulus had always been told he was a better son, though Sirius didn't care and liked the idea of being as distant from his family as possible.

He was a little excited to see his brother again but nervous to find out if he really had changed. All he knew about the Death Eaters was Regulus got in so far, panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out, which resulted in his death. Sirius was snapped back to reality by a familiar faint voice.

"Sirius, Sirius can you give me a hand" He got up and went outside to find Lily holding some flowers. "Hold these please" She handed him a bunch of pink lilies then returned to cut some more. "These are James' favourites, go figure. I'm going to put them in the kitchen before he comes back…" Lily looked up and noticed Sirius blank expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing" he lied. He didn't want to tell them about Regulus until he saw for himself if he had changed. Lily was a little suspicious but shook it off and carried the flowers into the house. She placed the lilies in a beautiful crystal vase and placed it on the dining table and sat down.

James suddenly appeared by the back door. "Hey" he said smiling. Sirius and Lily both looked at him smiling. He bent down and kissed Lily with his smile growing wider.

"What?" she asked.

"There beautiful" he indicated towards the lilies "but not as beautiful as you". Lily couldn't help but blush, even though they had been married for all these years he always got her blushing. James started to laugh and Lily hit him.

"Oh, just like old times" Sirius laughed joining in.

"Anyway, what's Harry doing?" Lily asked trying to change the subject away from her.

"He was down in the great hall finishing breakfast, well if you call it that, he was just picking at it really. Today's their last night at Hogwarts."

"I wish Harry didn't have to stay with Petunia, you'd think she would take care of him for me" She looked up into James' eyes while he held her close.

"I know, but Harry is strong, and the order will be keeping a good eye on him now"

"That's true, and I'm sure he won't be there long. Mrs. Weasley would insist he stay with her." Sirius said with a small smile. Now that he was gone, the Weasleys were the closest thing Harry had to a family.

"We owe so much to Molly; she's been there for Harry for all these years and has given him the love he deserves. I wish we could make it up to her" Lily gave a weak smile at James.

"I'm sure we'll find a way to thank her" James lightly pecked her forehead. Sirius had a weird feeling grow in his chest, he knew now was the time to tell them he would be moving out.

"I wanted to talk to you both about something." Sirius said happily and they smiled at him while still holding each other. "You both have been so good to me, letting me stay here…"

"Don't even worry about it mate, your family"

"Thanks, I think it's time I got my own place and started enjoying my freedom." Though Lily and James were going to miss Sirius terribly, they were happy for him. He had suffered so much after they died; he deserved to finally have his happy ending.

"You sure Sirius, you can stay here for as long as you like, we enjoy having you around." Sirius could hear the care in her voice. He too would miss them so much, he and James had been brothers since starting Hogwarts and Lily became a sister when James started dating her.

"Yeah I'm sure, I've been wanting this for so long and I know now is the right time"

"Do you have any place in mind?"

"Well I do have one. Harry had mentioned it to me that he wished we were living together in the country some place you can see the sky. He thought I would like that and he was right. That's the place I've chosen." Sirius had a sparkle in his eye as he spoke of his freedom.

Lily jumped up suddenly startling James and Sirius. "I know the perfect place, here take my hand." They both took hold of Lily's hand and disappeared. They ended up in a grassy valley with a dense forest growing downhill in the middle of the valley. A glittering stream flowed nearby and vanished through the forest. The ground seemed quite level where they were standing and would be flawless for the foundations of a house. It was perfect. So perfect Sirius couldn't believe Lily had known about this, it was so untouched by humans or wizards.

Sirius looked around with his mouth open taking in the fresh air that flowed down the mountain into the valley. The simple breeze on his face meant so much to him he couldn't explain. It was so pure, so natural. "I thought you'd like it, I learnt about it in primary school" James looked down at her confused. "Before I went to Hogwarts I went to a kid's muggle school" She couldn't believe James didn't know what a primary school was.

He couldn't contain his excitement anymore as he closed his eyes and thought about his new house. It formed in this head like a photograph, a huge block of land with an oak fence surrounding the perimeter that continued deep down into the forest. Full green shrubs grow at the front fence while lilies and wild flowers grow in the garden near the house. The brick house with a black tiled roof was elevated above the ground with stairs leading up to the front oak door which matched the fence and the balcony that ran the length of the back of the house. Tall windows surrounded the whole house to let in as much light as possible and to make it very open. Sirius opened his eyes and the house and the garden were just as he imagined.

"Aww Sirius, it's beautiful"

"Come one lets go inside" Sirius ran to the door and pushed it open. They entered into the living and dining room which was painted peach to add warmth and colour into the house. It was huge with a lounge against the far wall and two armchairs facing it, with a long book shelf on the adjacent wall filled with hundreds of books on every topic from the best pranks in history to quidditch to how to make your own cauldron cakes. Six chairs sat around a rectangle table on the left side of the room.

James and Lily followed Sirius through the archway on the right leading into an open hallway. On the far right of the hallway was a big white bathroom decorated with red and gold towels and mats. The two rooms in the middle were the guest bedrooms each with a king size bed with two armchairs facing the mountains in the distance. The room on the far left was Sirius' master bedroom with an adjoining ensuite in the corner opposite the door. There was photos in large frames on the wall of Lily, James, Remus and Sirius at school, a photo from Lily and James wedding and another with Sirius holding his godson Harry. All the bedrooms were decorated in the Gryffindor colours. Sirius had a bay window covered in cushions facing the mountains over the valley.

They continued back to the lounge room and followed through to the other archway leading into the kitchen. It was quite big considering that you don't have to cook anymore, the cupboards are filled with plates and cups and any cooking tool a chef could want. Floor to ceiling glass sliding doors opened out onto the balcony which had an amazing view of the valley. The backyard took a steep slope near the dense forest which resembled the dark forest at Hogwarts. The slope made it easy to see over the top of the trees and down the valley. It was like nothing Sirius had ever seen before, with something was sparkling and glittering in the distance. He could only assume that it would be a lake reflecting the white light from the sky.

"It is absolutely incredible what you've done Sirius. I know you'll be very happy here." Lily hugged him tight.

"Yeah well done mate and I love the forest, can't wait" Sirius winked at James who smirked back. They both knew the forest was for them to run through as animagus just like they did at Hogwarts.

"You can come over and stay whenever you want; your bedroom is the one closest to the bathroom."

"That's very sweet thank you, but what about the other bedroom?" Lily asked confused on who else would be staying.

"That's for James when he annoys you" Sirius made his dog like laugh with Lily quickly joining in.

"Ha-ha, very funny" James stuck out his tongue at him. "But we both know Lily could never find me annoying, I'm too irresistible" he said puffing out his chest.

"Oh yeah, how could I ever stay mad at you" She said sarcastically as she nudged him in the side.

James wrapped his arm around Lily and pulled her in very quickly she fell into his arms. "You love it" kissing her passionately.

"Well, who's up for some fun?" Sirius rubbed his hands together.

James stood up straight in a flash. "The forest?" he asked eagerly.

"Where else?"

"Wait, you both are not just leaving me here by myself while you go running off"

"We would never Lily flower, I think there is a lake near the bottom we'll go down for a swim and see the surroundings"

"See, we're not that selfish to leave you behind. You can climb on my back, I'll take you down" They all walked up to the start of the forest where James bowed down and kissed Lily's hand.

"I'll race you to the bottom"

"You're on, hold on tight Lil". The both transformed and Lily climbed onto Prongs back and wrapped her arms around his neck. They were off in a flash both level with each other as they entered deeper into the forest, the further they went in the darker it got until it was black. Padfoot picked up the pace and was ahead. Prongs and Lily both saw him jump over something and Prongs followed. Lily realized that was the fence meaning they had reached the end of Sirius' property. When Prongs and Lily made it to the bottom Sirius was already standing there leaning against the edge of the trees.

"What took you so long?" he laughed "losing your touch a bit there Prongs"

Lily climbed off Prongs and James transformed back. "It wasn't my fault; I didn't want Lily to fall off and get hurt"

"Hey, don't pin this on me, I don't even remember the last time you were Prongs"

"Well, I had no one to run with. Not that I would didn't want to be with you of course" James corrected himself quickly.

"Nice save, well there's the lake who's up for a swim?" Lily clothes changed from a summer dress to a bikini in the flash on an eye. "Come on" James and Sirius both changed and ran in after her. The water was crystal clear and was cool against the skin. James and Sirius started a splashing war with Lily winning in the end. They were down there for hours playing and exploring the grounds. Sirius noticed that the stream that passed near his house flowed down into the lake. A smaller stream flowed out of the lake and down the rest of the valley.

"Do you want to head back up, I'll get some butterbeer and you both can stay for dinner. The first night dinner has to be special, how about a roast?"

"That sounds delicious" Lily climbed back on Prongs and they raced back up the valley to the house. They all sat on lounge chairs drinking the butterbeers Sirius made appear.

"Is it just me or is the sky getting darker, I've never seen it like this" James had a confused expression over his face. "Are you doing this?" he looked at Sirius.

Sirius looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen, it said 5 o'clock. Looking back at James "Yes, I made it so that when it gets near night the sky fades to black with stars appearing and in the morning it brightens back up to white. It follows the sunrise and sunset. I don't know how it works or where it reaches, but I'll work it out eventually." Sirius stood up from his chair and walked towards the kitchen. "I think it might be time for …" Sirius stumbled backwards, he felt like someone had pushed him in the chest. Lily and James both sat up straight at this looking worried. "It's my heart; I need to see Harry now"

"It's Harry, he's calling for you, quickly go" Lily sounded more relaxed but was still antsy.

Sirius found himself in the Gryffindor tower dormitories with Harry. He looked down at Harry who was holding James two way mirror. He could see the excitement in Harry's face as he held the mirror closer to him.

_'Sirius Black' _every syllable rang clearly through the room. Harry's excitement faded and frustration took his place.

Sirius watched as Harry hurled the mirror into his trunk where it shattered. He gave the mirror to Harry to use when he was still alive if he needed to talk, it wasn't meant to cause him more pain now. Sirius couldn't believe he just watched him smash this fathers mirror but couldn't blame him either. It must have been torture to believe for a second they would be able to make contact again.

Harry was throwing his things in his trunk when he suddenly sprinted out of the dormitory. Sirius quickly followed behind him wondering what he was doing. It seemed that he had given up on his thought when…

_'Hey – hey, Nick! NICK!'_ Sirius' heart sank, he suddenly realised what was going through Harry's mind. He was never afraid of dying and embraced it; he would never run from something but fight it, like a true Gryffindor would. Though Sirius wanted to stay with Harry and Nick he didn't want to see Harry get upset that he hadn't come back as a ghost to be with him.

"I'm sorry Harry, I could never be a ghost" Sirius whispered into Harry's ear, tried to rub his shoulder to give support before returning back to his house.

Sirius found himself back on the balcony, the sky was quite dark now but there was still light in the distance. Lily and James were now in the kitchen talking. "Ah Sirius your back, I was just saying to James that I finally get why you have the candle chandeliers in all the rooms, it's a marvelous idea. What did Harry want?"

Sirius leaned against the counter and looked up at James and asked softly. "Do you remember the two way mirror? I gave it to Harry months ago so we could talk and he just found it" He drifted off for a moment.

James mumbled "The mirror of Erised"

"He thought I would come and speak with him, than he smashed your mirror. But that's not the worst part, he ran off to find a ghost to naturally ask if I would return as a ghost. That's when I left I didn't want to see his reaction." He spoke barely louder than a whisper.

James pulled him into a hug "Its ok mate, come on lets have dinner Lily made the roast for you. Don't you want this to be special and what could be better than being surrounded by your family?" James pulled Sirius towards the dining table where it was beautifully set with the lighting from the candles filling the room with warmth and love.

All Sirius could think as he sat down was that he wasn't surrounded by all his family, hopefully anyway. Tomorrow would be the day that they he and Regulus would be reunite again.

* * *

**I Hope you liked it, I got stuck with how to decorate the house and the placement of it. The next chapter will explain the sky a bit more; I've had that idea since starting the story. **


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